Once Pandu Ram went to a logic school to learn logic. "To begin with, I'll explain the term LOGIC with the help of an Example," said the Professor.
"Do you have a fish Pond?" asked the Professor
"Yes", said Pandu
"That means you love fish" the prof. Continued
"Yes"
"That is you love water."
"Yes"
"Everybody drinks water, meaning you love everybody."
"Yes"
"This means you love a boy"
"Yes"
"So you love a girl."
"Yes"
"If you love a girl, then you are a boy."
"Yes, I am a boy"
"And if you are a by then you are not homosexual."
"Yes, true I am not a homosexual, said the man."
"So this is a logical relation between a fish pond and homosexual," the prof. Ended.

That night Pandu could not sleep well and wondered regarding the logical relationship between the fish and a homo. Next day, on his way to the logic school, he met his friend who inquired about his first day at logic school. Pandu said proudly, "I'll explain you the term LOGIC with the help of an example."
"Do you have a fish Pond?" Asked Pandu.
"NO", his friend replied.
"THEN you are a homosexual", Pandu concluded.

Now here is a good one!

A Hindi teacher once asked his students ," Kaal Kitne prakaar kay hotey hain?"
Ramu replied, "Kaal five types kay hotey hain: BHOOT kaal, VERTAMAAN kaal, BHAVISHYAT kaal, TRUNK c-all aur Sat Sri A-kaal!"

Question: WHo came First- THe chicken or the EGG?

Answer: ForGEt it PAl, You are Too Young To know!!!

Ever thought how some of the famous personalities would look....when they grow old!

Bill Clinton

Hrithik Roshan

Sachin Tendulkar

Shoib Akhtar

Shahrukh Khan

Sonia Gandhi

Abhishek Bacchan (if that is how it is spelt)

Two pakistanis boarded a shuttle out of washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a fat Sardarji got on and took the aisle seat next to the 2 pakistanis. He kicked off his shoes,wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Pakistani in the window seat said, "I think Ill go up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the Sardar, "Ill get it for u."

While he was away, the Pakistani picked up the shoe & spat in it. When the Indian returned with the coke, the other Pakistani said, "That looks good.I think Ill have one too."

Again, the Sardar obligingly went to fetch it.

And while he was gone, the Pakistani picked up the other shoe & spat in it. The Indian returned with the coke & they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight
to New York. As the plane was landing the Indian slipped his feet into his shoes & knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on," the Sardar asked, with pain and sorrow. "This enmity between our people... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and pissing in the cokes!"

One day mannu's father ask him what he wants to become. He answers "GULLI BANAKE CHIDIYA MARUNGA". Then every times when anybody asks him any thing he always says,"GULLI BANAKE CHIDIYA MARUNGA".

At the end his father decides to take him to a Doctor.

Doctor asks Mannu the same question,"What do u want to become in ur life". Mannu gives the same answer gives him some medicine and tell him to come back after a month.

Next month when his father takes him to the Doctor again, the Doctor asks him again, "What do u want to become in ur life".

Mannu says,"Uncle...Uncle main naa bahoot bahoot padhai karunga.., aur naa hamesha ache marks launga. Phir na main na MBBS main admission lunga..phir naa..main America jaunga aur Phd karunga ...

Jab main acha Doctor ban jaunga na tab na ..tab main ek bahoot badi party dunga ...aur jo bhi mujhe gifts melenge na unkoo main bech dunga.. usase jobhi paise melengena usse main underware kharedunga aur uss underware ki ellastikk nikalke

GULLI BANAKE CHIDIYA MARUNGA.

Clinton came to Pakistan on a state visit. Mian Nawaz Sharif asked the city authorities to clean up the city. Clinton was shown around the city the way government was spending the US aid. However, he noticed people relieving themselves (pissing or shitting) on the roadside in several places.

At the end of the visit Clinton said to Nawaz that he would like more of the money spent towards the civic facilities so that people do not have to relieve themselves in public places. Nawaz Sharif was annoyed. He decided that the next time he will go to USA and will embarrass the US president too.

Next month Nawaz went to USA and spent one week in Washington. Every time he went around with Clinton, he looked hard to find something that would embarrass Clinton. But he could not find any fault.

But on the last day of the visit while Nawaz was being escorted back to airport from the Pakistani embassy, he saw someone pissing in a dark area of the street next to Pakistani embassy. He pointed out to Clinton: See, even in USA people do that.

Clinton was very angry. He signaled to FBI agents who shot the roadside pisser immediately.

The next day Nawaz read in the newspapers in Islamabad: Pakistani ambassador shot dead in Washington!

Scene: Trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side.

Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts, "Oye Abdul!" A guy gets up from other trench, "Kya hai be" Kartar Singh shoots!! BANG. The guy is shot dead!

Kartar Singh shouts again, "Oye Karim" 2 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala"
BANG BANG both khalaas are gone

Kartar Singh shouts again,"Oye Mustafa!" 2 more, BANG-BANG! dono khalaas!

Pakis get worried, they think: Saala Sardarji log, when did they get so smart? They decide to try the trick themselves.

"Abe Gurdev Singh" silence

"Oye Gurdev Singh!!" silence

"O bhai, Gurdev Singh!"

This time some one says, "Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula raha hai re?"

Paki gets up, "Main"

BANG! He goes!

Once a paki and his parrot are going on a aeroplane, the paki ring the bell for the air-hostess, so that she can bring water for him. As soon as hostess came to her the parrot kissed her. she replies "so sweet" and goes back.

The paki again ring the bell and again the parrot kissed her and she replies the same, this procedure continue 4-5 times, the paki got angry and ring the bell and as soon as hostess arrive he kissed her.

The hostess got angry, she told this to the mgmt, the mgmt and all the passengers take the decision to throw paki and the parrot from the flying aeroplane.

When they opened the door the parrot asked the paki that does he know how to fly, the paki said that he don't.

The parrot replied "pange phir avein hee layee jaanda see".

Once there was a Pakistani farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea of scaring the kids.

The next day when the kids showed up they saw this sign which said, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with poison!" And so the kids run off.

The Pakistani farmer shows up the next day and when he looks over his field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he sees something scribbled on the sign he had put up.

The scribble read: "Now there are two!"

NOw Here are the jokes for the Educated Class!

THOSE WERE the DAYS.....

Remember when???
A window was something
You hated to clean
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profinity
Memory was something
That you lost with age
And if you had a 3 ½ floppy,
You hoped nobody found out
And if you unzipped in public,
You'd be in jail for a while
A web was a spiders home
And a virus was a flu.

$$$'Undo' unto us as you 'undo' unto computers$$$

* Five minutes ago you were travelling to office at 80 clicks an hour in your brand new car. Now You are travelling to hospital at double the speed...... YOU WISH that there was an "UNDO" in life!

* YOu are late for the interview, and your car keys are missing..... YOU WISH that there was a "FIND" tool in life!

*One day you realise you are turning bald...... YOU WISH that there was "CUT and PASTE" in life!!!

*The bus is so crowded that you cannot get anywhere near that nice girl at the other end......YOU WISH that there was a 'ZOOM' & 'VIEW IN FULL SCREEN" in life!!!

* After your marriage you realised that both of you are mismatched..... YOU WISH that there could have been a 'Sample Download' or a 'demo version'!!!

$$$Why DID the ChIcKeN cross the Road??!??$$$